| David
Baron (1855-1926)
I can truly say
that I feared God from my youth and as far back as I can remember, even
in the days of my childhood, the question, “How can a man be just with
God?” very often occupied my thoughts. I was very familiar with the
passages in the Word of God where we are told that we are all “born in
sin and shapen in iniquity” (Psalm 51:5), that the very “imaginations
of the thoughts of our hearts” are “only evil continually” (Genesis
6:5; 8:21), that our hearts are “deceitful above all things and
desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9) and, indeed, my experience only
corroborated these Bible statements. When I looked into my own heart I
found nothing there but “blackness of darkness”. Hatred to the name of
God and rebellion against His holy will stood out bare and prominent to
my scrutinising eyes and though in the sight of man, even of my own
friends and relatives, I was, as they said, good and blameless - and so
I might have seemed, for I perfectly kept all the laws and ceremonies
prescribed by the Rabbis and was a diligent student of the Talmud
beside - yet in the depths of my soul I was convinced otherwise. I felt
somehow that God was not well pleased with all my ,good works and
religious observances because they were not done out of a willing and
obedient heart - to which, by nature, we are all perfect strangers -
but merely to pacify God Who “was a terror unto me”, and who, I,
thought, as an angry Judge only hated me and watched for my
destruction. This thought created in me great bitterness of heart and
trouble of soul. The more religious I became the more miserable I felt;
for I was brought to see how far short I came of God’s standard, who
tells us to be holy even as He Himself is holy (Leviticus 19:2; 21:8;
Joshua 24:19). I felt that there was a great difference between being holy and merely doing what men call holy acts, and I longed and prayed, like David, for a “new heart” and a “right spirit”, which I knew I needed, before I could hope to become holy. Some of my Jewish friends to whom I opened my mind comforted me with the fact that I was doing as much as I possibly could and that I therefore had no cause to fear. But this did not satisfy me, for I knew that we are commanded not merely to do as much as we can but also to keep all the laws and commandments which the Lord our God has given us, and a curse is pronounced on all who do not confirm and do all the words of the law (Deuteronomy 27:1-26), and, as a matter of fact, none of us can keep one commandment perfectly. Longing for a
Temple, a Priest and a Lamb But what was I to
do? God says, “The soul that sinneth, it shall die” (Ezekiel 18:20) and
He nowhere says that I can get the forgiveness of my sins by my own
“good works”. He does say that “it is the blood that maketh an
atonement for the soul” (Leviticus 17:11). Alas! “because of our sins
we have been driven from our land and are estranged from our soil”, and
“we have no more temple, sacrifice, or priest” (see the Jewish prayers
for Day of Atonement). Oh! how I wished, when the great Day of
Atonement came round, for a Temple, a Priest and, above all, a Lamb on
whose head I might confess my sins and thus roll away the burden from
my heart! Thus it continued and I was miserable, without rest of heart
or peace of mind, the thought and prospect of death being dreadful to
me. When I was still
young, in a vacation time, being out with some of my father’s servants
in the field, I met with a very serious accident and was carried home
unconscious. When I regained consciousness I saw a doctor standing by
my bedside and heard him say that I had but little hope of my recovery.
During the night I said to my dear, pious mother who was watching by my
bedside, “Dear mother, I am afraid I am dying. What will become of me?
Where am I going?” “My dear child”,
she said, weeping, “you have been such a good boy, and should you die
you will go to heaven.” “Oh! no, mother!”
I exclaimed, in great agony of mind, “I have not been good, and if my
getting to heaven depends on my own goodness I shall never get there.” For some time
after my recovery I wandered about in different places, hoping to get
rest of mind, but I could find no one to bind up my broken heart, or
apply the “balm of Gilead” to my soul and, as to Jesus being the
Saviour of sinners, I had not at that time so much as heard His
precious Name mentioned, nor indeed could I then have brought my mind
to think for one moment that the Messiah could take away my sins, or
speak peace to my soul. At that time all that I looked forward for the
Messiah to do was that He should save our people from the hands of our
enemies and restore us to the land of their fathers and also, by
conquest over all other nations, to give us the supremacy. I had many
other hopes in connection with the advent of the Messiah, as have many
Jews, but they were all carnal, narrowed down to earth and this present
state, and not one of those hopes rose as high as heaven, or was
brightened with the light of immortality. The Spirit of
God opens my Eyes But oh! wondrous
grace! At last God revealed Himself to me as “the LORD God, merciful
and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth”
(Exodus 34:6) and, though I was a lost sinner “walking in darkness and
having no light”, with a heart burdened and a soul sore troubled,
justly deserving on account of my manifold sins and transgressions
nothing but His wrath and displeasure, He “did not deal with me after
my sins, nor reward me according to my iniquities” but showed me that
there is forgiveness with Him “that He may be feared” (Psalm 130:4),
that He has “no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the
wicked turn from his way and live” (Ezekiel 33: 11). The Spirit of God
opened my eyes to see that “salvation is of the Lord”, and that He does
not sell it; no, not even for our “good works”, any more than He sells
the life-sustaining air we breathe, or the water we drink, but He
pleads with us, to come and accept of it freely. Listen! “Ho, every one
that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come
ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and
without price!” (Isaiah 55: 1). What an absurd idea to think that the
cloak of our “own righteousness” which God calls nothing but “filthy
rags” (Isaiah 64:6) could ever hide our sins from God’s all-penetrating
eyes, or to be a fit garment for us in the company of the King of kings! There is nothing
that can efficiently hide our sins from God’s sight but blood - on this
point both the Old and New Testaments agree (Leviticus 17: 11; Hebrews
9:22) - and there are no other garments becoming those who would be
Jehovah’s guests to the great “feast of fat things” which He will
provide (Isaiah 25:6-9) than the “garments of salvation” and the “robe
of righteousness” with which the Messiah alone can clothe us (Isaiah
53:11; 61:10). First Contacts
with Christians In the course of
my wanderings I was at last, in the gracious providence of God, Who was
all the while leading me by “a way which I knew not”, brought into
contact for the first time in my life with two men - a Jew and a
Gentile - both true followers of Jesus of Nazareth, who came and spoke
to me of Him Whom they called their “Saviour”. Now, I need scarcely
tell you that my heart was full of hatred and prejudice against Him
Whom, until that time, I only knew by the name of Tooleh
(crucified) and Who, I believed, taught His followers only to serve
idols and persecute the Jews. In this prejudice I was trained up from
my earliest days, for when I was only four years old my mother taught
me to repeat, whenever I passed a Christian Church, the following words
in Hebrew: “Thou shalt utterly detest it, thou shalt utterly abhor it;
for it is a cursed thing” (Deuteronomy 7:26). I was, therefore, the
more bitter against any Jew who professed to believe in Christ; I could
to some extent understand that a Gentile should believe in Him for, I
thought, it is his religion and he does not know any better, but a Jew,
and a Talmudic Jew, too, to believe in Him Whom our nation has
pronounced an impostor! Impossible! He must have been bribed to do so,
I thought. Still, I could
not help observing that this meshumed (apostate!) was far
happier than I was and that not on account of any earthly riches, for
he told me, and I could see, that he was not rich, but poor. He seemed
to know God as his Father, as the loving God, and one evening he
concluded a conversation I had with him thus: “As for me, I tell you
honestly, as in the sight of God, that I have never known what true
happiness is until I found it in Christ.” Happiness in
Christ! What a strange thing this is, I thought, for a Jew to find
happiness in Christ! In vain, however, I argued and opposed. In vain I
displayed all my knowledge of the Hebrew Scriptures and Talmud to
disprove every assertion he made regarding the Messiahship of Jesus, in
which, for some time, I thought myself successful; there was one thing
I could not get over and that was the fact that there was something
about the belief in Jesus of Nazareth which made this man happy. And
did not I seek for happiness? Did not I want to know how the God Whom I
had offended and Who, on that account, was angry with me, could become
my Friend and Comforter (Isaiah 12)? With these
impressions on my heart we parted, unlikely to meet again. First contact
with the New Testament Soon after this I
became possessed of a book, the very existence of which I was as yet
ignorant, though there is nothing in the world to equal it in value.
Have you seen it? Read it? It is called the New Testament. In it the
mysteries of redemption prefigured in the Old Testament are clearly
defined, and the way of salvation made so plain that even the simple
can understand it. It is a book to which, if you will come with a soul
thirsting after the knowledge of God, you will exclaim, “This is the
very river of God, from it let us drink and be satisfied!” Oh! what
feelings took hold of me as I read these words, almost at the beginning
of the first Gospel; words uttered by Jesus of Nazareth Himself: “Thou
shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve” (Matthew
4: 10). Now I always
thought that Jesus of Nazareth was a false prophet of the kind against
whom Moses warned us so earnestly (Deuteronomy 13), but there I found
instead that He was teaching men to worship God only, the only living
and true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of Israel,
Who brought our fathers out from the bondage of Egypt, He Who is the
great King and Saviour - even Jehovah Who is One and His Name One! I was still more
surprised as I read on in that wonderful book to find Jesus uttering
these most Divine words: Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they that are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven... For I say unto you, that except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven... Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:3-10, 16, 20, 44, 45). Truly, “this man
spoke as never man spake!” What wonderful words are these! How is it
possible that such holy words and sublime teaching can proceed out of
the heart of one whom the Talmudists style “the greatest sinner in
Israel”? Is not the fruit the test of the tree? And should not the
teaching of Jesus of Nazareth be a test whether He was from God or not? I wondered,
however, whether all who called themselves Christians really profess to
hold this Book with the Divine and glorious truths contained in it as
the foundation of their faith and rule of their practice, for, alas!
the Christianity which I had seen from my earliest days is as different
from the Christianity taught by its Divine Founder and His first
followers as light is from darkness. I was greatly perplexed on this
point until I came across these words uttered by Jesus: “Not every one
that saith unto Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven
... Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied
in Thy Name? and in Thy Name have cast out devils? and in Thy Name done
many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew
you; depart from Me, ye that work iniquity”’ (Matthew 7:21-23). Comparing the
Tanakh and the New Testament For twelve months
I continued to read and examine the New Testament, comparing it with
the Old Testament, and what wonderful discoveries I made in it! And
this without help of any man, And all the time I did not say a single
word to any one except to two of my unconverted Jewish friends, who
certainly gave me no aid in the matter, for they only ridiculed me. The
study of some passages of Scripture had only the effect of making the
burden on my heart heavier, especially those which demonstrated that
salvation can only be obtained as a gift from God through faith in
Jesus Christ, and that our own righteousness apart from this salvation
avails nothing in the sight of God (Romans 3;4;5; Galatians 3;4). What! Is there no
merit in my prayers, in the strict observance of the ceremonies
prescribed by the Rabbis, and, above all, in the study of the Talmud?
Only through appropriating faith in Christ can I be saved? It seemed an
impossibility to me. I tried to believe, but just then strong torrents
of prejudice and hatred, such as a Jew only knows, rushed in upon me
and almost overwhelmed me with misery and doubts. “Oh, my God!” I
cried, “cast me not away from Thy presence in this manner. I am a Jew,
a child of Abraham, Thy friend; from my youth I have tried to keep Thy
holy law. Why dost Thou thus punish me, withholding from me that peace
and rest of heart without which life is a burden to me? Hide not Thy
face from me, lest I be as those who go down to the pit!” Still no peace
came. I spoke more
boldly on the subject to a Jewish friend but alas! he could not help me
for, as you who know anything about it from experience will
acknowledge, there is actually nothing in modern Judaism to meet the
cravings of an awakened soul. “Woe was me! for I was undone.” The
foundation of sand on which I had been building all my life was now
completely taken from me. I could see the “Rock” (Psalm 40:1-3), God’s
“sure foundation”, which He has laid in Zion (Isaiah 28:16) but I could
not bring myself to build upon it out of mere prejudice. Oh! how strong
are our own wills in opposition to God. How slow are we all, unless
aided by the Spirit of God, to accept simply God’s plan of salvation
and give up all our own plans and ideas, for God’s thoughts “are not
our thoughts, neither are our ways His ways” (Isaiah 55:8). Hatred to the
Name of Jesus broken down Gradually,
however, my prejudice and hatred to the Name of Jesus broke down, for I
could now see that it was not as I had always thought, that Christ
commanded His followers to hate and persecute our nation. No, in the
heart of Jesus I could see nothing but love to our people. Did He not
weep over Jerusalem? (Luke 19:41-44). Was He not, on beholding the
multitudes of our people who were as sheep having no shepherd, moved
with compassion for them? (Matthew 9:36). Did He not even pray for his
murderers on the very cross on which they crucified Him? This was His
prayer at the time: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they
do” (Luke 23:34); and this the prayer of our deluded people: “His Blood
be on us, and on our children” (Matthew 27:25). Now judge which prayer
is the more righteous. Thus it was with
me until, by the help of God’s Spirit, I cast myself on my knees one
evening and exclaimed, “Oh, my God, if Thou canst not save me on any
other condition but faith in Jesus, be pleased to give me that faith,
and help me to love that most precious Name which I have so long hated
and despised. Thou hast promised to save unto the uttermost all those
who come unto Thee in His Name: Oh, save me!” I remained on my
knees some time and, when I rose, I could indeed sing, “O, LORD, I will praise
Thee: though Thou wast angry with me, Thine anger is turned away, and
Thou comfortest me. Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not
be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my Strength
and my Song; He also is become my Salvation” (Isaiah 12:1-2). Though some years
have now passed since that memorable evening, I can still sing the same
song and am even more determined to “trust in Jesus, and not be
afraid”. I have known many days of adversity since that time, but
blessed be His Holy Name, His sweet peace has possessed my heart and
mind ever since, and I know a little - oh, that I knew more - of what
it is to know God as my Father. Have my own beloved parents and friends
forsaken me? Lo! “the Lord has taken me up” (Psalm 27: 10) and in Jesus
I have found “a Friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs
18:24). By my profession of faith in Christ have I lost all heirship to
earthly possessions? Lo! I have become “an heir of glory”, and have
received “an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth
not away” (1 Peter 1:4). Am I persecuted and despised for my Saviour’s
sake? I count it an honour and rejoice and am exceeding glad, for great
is my reward in heaven (Matthew 5:12). Have I given up anything which
before gave me pleasure? Thank God, I can
say with Paul that “what things were gain to me, those I count loss for
Christ. Yea, doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the
excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for Whom I have
suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may
win Christ, and be found in Him, not having mine own righteousness,
which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the
righteousness which is of God by faith” (Philippians 1:7-9). |
|